Green Beast's Rivalry
by DarkLordK
Summary: Maito Gai wants to train with his favorite rival ever, but Kakashi's having none of it. Unfortunately, Gai is very persistent and just doesn't let up. Read for attempted hilarity. T for one or two instances of language. Read and review, please.


I've been posting WAY too much angst and drama and all that. Sooo... I need to post something funny! Yay!

I kept trying to think of something funny for a couple weeks, and it kept eluding me. But then it hit me! What's more hilarious than Might Guy bugging the hell out of Kakashi? Probably a lot of things, but you know, I just... Do not... Care. lol

Names will be Japanese-style, simply for the use of honorifics and such.

I suggest listening to the songs 'Naruto's Daily Life' and/or 'Fooling Mode' while reading this. It makes it better. Just trust me on that.

Anywho, here we go! I hope this is funny... Crossing my fingers!

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**Green Beast's Rivalry**

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"Kakashi-kun! There you are, I've been looking all over Konoha for you!" Kakashi froze and turned slowly, enough to see his 'rival' frontflipping down from the roof of a building, landing on both feet and striking a pose.

'Oh, Kami, no...' "Hehe... Hey, Gai-kun..." The Green Beast grinned, and Kakashi could've sworn he saw the man's teeth sparkle briefly. 'He never ceases to amaze me...'

"How about you and me go for a few hundred laps around the village, eh, Kakashi-kun?" Never losing his grin, he began stretching in preperation for running. Kakashi, as always, was confused at this. He hadn't even answered Gai, but here he was, getting ready to 'battle' him. Probably something about his youth or some such nonsense that Kakashi didn't really bother to care about. Not that he cared about much anyway, but this he cared even less about.

"Um... Gai-kun, I've got... Important team.. Stuff to take care of. Perhaps another time..." 'When I'm DEAD.' The silver haired Jounin turned to leave, maybe go read Icha Icha books. He was frozen in place by an energized shout from Gai.

"Nonsense, Kakashi-kun! That can wait until we've done our laps!" His eye twitched and he simply disappeared. "Huh? Where'd you go, Kakashi-kun?" Said man was watching silently from a rooftop before bounding away, very eager to get away from the almost definitely insane youth fanatic.

**XXXXX**

It was a few hours later. Kakashi had just met up with his new students, and he had already developed his opinions on them. The lovestruck young girl, Haruno Sakura, kind of irked him. She was only focused on her crush, who also happened to be in her team. He doubted she would be able to do anything right for a while, if ever. Maybe she'd get lucky and be good at medical Ninjutsu or something, since she probably wouldn't fight much. Then there was the apparent genius and 'ladies' man,' Uchiha Sasuke. He obviously wanted nothing to do with Sakura or his other teammate. He claimed he was an avenger. Kakashi knew why, but decided not to push it. The boy would probably throw a bitch-fit and whine about how it was his burden to carry or something dumb like that. But, if he only focused on revenge, he wouldn't be a good ninja either. He'd be strong, but there'd be no teamwork. Finally, there was the rambunctious knucklehead, Uzumaki Naruto. Honestly, he was the only one Kakashi thought had any potential. He was willing to work with the other two, wasn't only worried about his obvious crush on Sakura, and had huge reserves of chakra.

The only problem? He was a moron, and seemed the type to run into a conflict without thinking.

He chuckled to himself and was about to walk into his house to read some more, when...

"Kakashi-kun~!" His eye twitched for the second time that day as he heard Gai in the distance. He was getting closer. Running.

'Oh Kami, NO!' He quickly struggled to open his door, but it was locked.

"Oh, son of a-"

"Dynamic entry~!" He turned to see the widely-grinning man in green flying at his face with a kick. There was that sparkle in his teeth again...

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Kakashi stepped aside and Gai's face contorted into one of surprise, a bit of pride at his 'rival's' reflexes, and fear at the fact that he was heading straight for Teuchi, the old man from Ichiraku Ramen, who was apparently on delivery. Kakashi stared at the spectacle of the man in green crashing into Teuchi, then a tall fence nearby, before quickly unlocking his door, running inside, and relocking it.

"Kami... Give me a break, Gai-kun..."

**XXXXX**

It had been a few days since Kakashi had last seen his self-proclaimed rival, and he was kind of enjoying it. Of course, those few days had held a C-Rank mission, which had actually probably been a B- or A-Rank (during which, just as he had predicted to himself, Sakura was all but useless, and Sasuke had tried to take care of Haku on his own, but, naturally, it was Naruto who had saved the day), and the unsurprising lack of teamwork afterwards caused him to send his students home for the day to rest up and work on it, but hey... He had a bit of downtime, right?

Unfortunately for him, that downtime would soon be interrupted by none other than the green menace himself. "Kakashi-kun~!"

"Oh, mother fu-GAH!" He was interrupted by a sudden weight slamming down onto him. His glare turned upwards toward the man in green now standing on him. "...Gai-kun... I'm under you."

Gai simply laughed. "Oh, Kakashi-kun, you need to work on your reflexes. C'mon, I'll help you." The man stepped off of Kakashi's back and held out a hand. Against his better judgment, he took his 'rival's' hand and stood upright. Before he could run, however, a smirk appeared on Gai's lips as he threw a punch toward the silver-haired Jounin's face. Kakashi gasped and dodged the man's attack, only to be thrown another.

"G-Gai-kun, what are you doing?!" He dodged a kick to the head this time.

"Hehe... I told you I'd help with your reflexes! Your sharingan can't always be your trump card, Kakashi-kun!" Multiple kicks and punches were sent the way of the silver-haired Jounin, all evaded last-second. Finally, Kakashi had enough. Gai smirked to himself when he saw Kakashi forming hand seals faster than he could see them.

_U! I! Ne! Uma! Tora!_*

"Ground Splitting Technique!"

The green-clad Tajutsu expert laughed as he jumped over the rocks now being uprooted by Kakashi's chakra. "That's what I like to see!" The ground had finished being overturned, and Gai landed upright on a rock, smiling. "Now, then... Gate of-"

"Hatake Kakashi! Maito Gai!" The two Jounin turned to see a very angy-looking Sarutobi Hiruzen.

"H-Hokage-Sama..." They bowed, Kakashi ready to destroy Gai for getting him into hot water with the Hokage.

"Would you two mind telling me what exactly you were thinking, sending rocks into my office?!" Kakashi turned his head slowly to see that, as the Hokage had said, there was a rather large and sharp-looking rock protruding from the top floor's window.

"Ehehe... W-Well, you see, Hokage-Sama..."

Kakashi relayed the whole story to Hiruzen, who simply sighed in irritation.

"...I see. Well. Since you two seem to think it's a good idea to uproot the village, YOU can fix my building. Understood?"

The two Jounin nodded, and Hiruzen disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Gai spoke up first. "I suppose we should get started. I'll race you, let's go!" Before Kakashi could respond, the man in green took off shouting something about youth. The silver-haired man sighed and shook his head as he headed toward the Hokage building.

"...I'm never gonna get to finish my book..."

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Okay. I had no idea how to end this, but this seems alright. I'm a bit stressed out at the moment, and don't really feel like posting much. I had to end a 2 1/2 year relationship because we were fighting a lot, and it's been pretty rough on both of us. So if I seem very irritable in the coming weeks, I want to apologize ahead of time. It's not usually how I am unless I'm distraught.

On a lighter note, though, I do plan on updating as much as I can. This includes all my fics, and the occasional one-shot. If you haven't checked out my other stuff, I suggest you do. I've gotten, for the most part, positive feedback on just about everything I've written so far, so it's not an issue of quality, I assure you. ;P

* The hand seals used by Kakashi are as follows: Hare, Boar, Rat, Horse, Tiger.

Peace out, yo!

~DarkLordK~


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